As I look around in this world I see such deep brokenness and suffering. It seems no one can escape the anguish/damage of a shattered heart. Mine has been broken too, so I know the anxiety and hopelessness it can bring. I was divorced after 25 years of marriage because of abuse from my ex-husband. It wasn’t what I had planned for in my youth, it wasn’t something I wanted, but it was what happened and I had to find a way to healing. Misery has a way of capturing one’s soul and I knew I could not be conquered by it.
My heart hurts for those who are in the core of brokenness. My desire is to help you as I was helped and to lift you out of that pit of despondency. I love to give courage to others, so here are some things you can do to begin that path of healing.
- Confide in friends. Do not attempt to go through this alone, choose a friend or two that are willing to listen to you and love on you. During times of heartache we tend to recoil and back away from people. Sometimes we think it’s too embarrassing to tell others our problems and so we rather agonize in silence. But I urge you to to seek out others’ help. It is the way to healing. Push through the desire to hide; and call someone instead and tell them of your affliction…even if you must do it over and over again… because sadly, each day can bring a new sort of sorrow to your heart. I had a few close friends that helped me through my separation and divorce. One time I had a particularly terrible birthday. I, at the time, was trying to reconcile with my ex-husband and it went sour very quickly. I rushed into the bathroom of the restaurant, crying in the stall and called my friend. She happened to be getting a pedicure and told me to come right away. I did as she asked and she even paid for my first pedicure. In her kindness she soothed my soul and I ended up having an enjoyable time. I’ll never forget that. There are friends out there waiting to love on you and show you they care…let them, because you know you would do the same.
- Take some time away, even for a day. You need to get out of the four walls that confine you. A change of scenery quiets the soul. So, take a hike, go to the beach or mall, whatever brings you peace. Reflect, write, draw…just seek solace. I loved to go kayaking during this time, so I would call another friend and ask her if my boys could come over and hang out with her kids. She was always willing to lend a hand. Doing this gave me the much needed time away to sort things out in my mind. So, find the place that’s right for you, it could be a walk around your block, just get out of the normal activities of the day once and a while and treat yourself to some alone time.
- Pursue Christ; whether through prayer, church, or the Bible, invite him into your pain. He is so willing to comfort your weary heart; so dwell with him. Jesus was my saving grace during this time (and actually always is). I could not have come out of my turmoil, whole and healed, if it wasn’t for the mercy and compassion he imparted to me. Psalm 34:18 states “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits have been crushed.” Christ understands anguish and abandonment, and he will give you the strength and relief that you need. Trust that what he says in his Word he will do. I encountered Christ in a beautiful way during the most difficult time in my life and I know that if you are willing you can too. Another psalm I love is one of rescue…God’s mighty rescue… of one who is in extreme distress. Read Psalm 18:1-19 and come to know the desire God has to rescue you from your pain, and that he also takes great delight in you. There are many other passages you can read in the Bible (Psalm 40 is an uplifting one too) that shows the immensity of God’s love and mercy toward you. Read a psalm a day. Journal your emotions, write like David did, without restrain, and surrender all to Christ. Another one of my dear friends created a Hope Jar for me by putting many inspiring verses and sayings in it, so I was reminded each day that I was not alone. In Isaiah 61:1 Jesus stated that he came to heal the broken hearted and set the prisoners free, so remember, that that is his mission! His desire, the reason he came to earth and died and was resurrected, was to bring healing to your heart and set you free from any bondage you are in. This passage is so powerful; I pray you begin to truly grasp its significance.
Before we close I want to give you courage once more. When a relationship ends you may feel that you are not worth loving because of someone’s rejection of you. Rejection has the capacity to deceive us in so many ways. Perhaps you placed your worth in this person and now you are being told you don’t have what they need anymore; so your worth plummets. You may then try to replace your feelings of worth with someone or something else. I must tell you this will not heal the brokenness in your heart, but only delay and add to the enormity of pain in your life. See my other blog titled, Misplaced Worth to understand what this is.
I again urge you to seek your worth in Christ only, for he is the one who declares it; not your family, careers, education etc. Yes, you can feel loved by your family or accomplished through your positions, but it is not where your worth dwells. You gain your value by the One who said you are worth dying for and loving endlessly without abandonment; and this is a beautiful gift, not based on anything you have done, but because of his ultimate grace and mercy!
I know this is not a complete list of remedies for a broken heart. If you have some ideas that have helped you, please write them in the comments. Also, let me know also how I can be praying for you.
If you are interested in my book, A Rag Doll’s Heart, A Woman’s Journey to Worth, you can purchase it in my store on this website. Thank you